YES, I HAVE SOLD MY CHILD DOWN THE RIVER

I am a terrific, loving mom.  In fact, there is not one thing that I would not do for my child,  except maybe put myself in a situation where I would be personally embarrassed.   Every Wednesday, I have breakfast with my four year old at a dive coffee shop in the deep San Fernando Valley.  This coffee shop is a happy place for me as it is one of my old high school haunts.  It was a typical Wednesday three weeks ago.  We arrived at the coffee shop and I set up shop.  The toys went on the table, my computer unloaded, my coffee with french vanilla milk chilling beside me.  All of sudden, I started experiencing the worst stomach pains.  (It does happen to the best of us!)  I did not know what to do.  I could not leave my son and purse at the table while I fled to the toilet.  Time was running out.  I grabbed my son and my wallet, yelled to the waitress that I was not dining and ditching and sprinted to the bathroom.  I barely made it.  As I was washing my hands off, my child started screaming that the toilet was overflowing!  I panicked.  He started screaming that we needed to tell the guy.  I was horrified!  I love eating breakfast every Wednesday at this coffee shop and I needed to hold my head high every time entered.  The thought of Wednesday breakfast at Starbucks was a depressing thought.  I thought quickly!  We walked out the door and crashed right into the busboy.  I looked at him with a big smile and said ” My son had a bad stomach explosion, must have ate something bad.  The toilet is overflowing.  I am so sorry!”  and back I went to the table with my adorable son in tow.  We sat back down and resumed our breakfast.  And each Wednesday, I arrive at the coffee shop in my hot “beyond yoga” workout outfits and can still feel like a piece of ass!