Husband is a talented photographer. His favorite subjects tend to be George Michael, the Georgia Bulldogs, the Eiffel Tower, and his family. I like to think of myself as his muse. Over the years, many uncompromising pictures of me have been forwarded to friends for a good giggle. And then there are the tender moments where Husband has a burst of love and photographs me in front of a sunset or sleeping with my kids. The first year of marriage, Husband shot a montage of me sleeping and professionally framed them in one horizontal arrangement. Known as “The Sleeping Kleez” the photo montage proudly hung over our bed for years…. until our Earthquake fears grew.
Last Saturday morning, I was sleeping and NOT bothering anyone. The kids were both at a sleepover. Suddenly, the bedroom door flew open and Husband came in like a bat out of hell (dripping wet from his treadmill/weight workout and full of adrenaline, salt, and vinegar). Ugh! A bad morning was in store for me. “Wake up,” he snarled. “I can’t look at you sleeping anymore. You used to be so cute when you slept. Now you look like fish lips!” I gently explained to him that alcohol causes dehydration which swells the lips – AND if I have put a drop of stuff in my lips, it is for research for this blog. I am trying to be a freakin life stylist. I puckered up and told him to get over here and give fish lips a big smooch!