At what point in a sleep-over relationship do you break out the mouth guard? It’s important to fall in love but at the expense of gorgeous veneers? I mean- what if the affair sizzles and your teeth have been ground down during the night as you are spooning and trying to maintain the sexy sleeping vixen facade. That would be a big bummer! Remember those first mornings waking up with that new potential? Turning the water faucet on as you enjoy your morning tinkle, jumping out of bed to brush teeth as if you wake every morning with minty fresh breath, putting a little cream blush on the cheeks to look temptingly flushed and dewy fresh. At least with marriage, all of those pretenses can go out the window. Marriage and mouth guards, periods, bad breath, and gas become a package deal. All good. You know what you are getting. Wham bam thank you mam and NO kissing tonight. Take last night in the lemonaid home. Babe came home late from a work event. I was pages into yet another contemporary erotica romance. The lights were out, teeth brushed, face doused in night cream, latisse applied, and the mouthguard firmly in place . I could pretend that he seductively slinked into the bedroom but that would be a lie. His entrance alone like a bat out of hell killed my sex drive for the night. Instead, he loudly stormed into the peaceful bedroom, demanding if I had accomplished my to do tasks of the day. Before I could respond, he started spewing out the task list for the next day. Totally annoyed and impatient to get back into my romance, I tuned him out while he did his bedtime routine. He then he jumps into the bed, grabs my leg and says her baby with a wink in his eye? I smiled with my mouthguard and said TOO LATE! Married life, baby!