Aug 2010
SOCCER MAMAS
Big day at UCLA today! To the left were the coeds practicing cheers. To the right was the future of Soccer— our seven year old sons sweating their skull caps off in a week long Soccer camp hosted by UCLA. As I walked towards the field to attend the end of the session casual awards ceremony for camp participation, I was questioned by an imposing security guard. At that moment, a swarm of paparazzi appeared! Nearly trampled, I remarked to my friend that this camp sure knows how to make a kid feel good! And then lightning struck as we discovered that the crowds were not for our talented kids, but for the arrival of the Real Madrid team due to play a match on that same field. Sitting on the bleachers, the Soccer Mamas cheered for our children as they got their awards. I craned my head to check for the arrival of the Soccer god, Cristiano Ronaldo. My fellow hot mama and I were teasing each other and begging the security guards to send the soccer babes over to get some inspiration before the big match. No such luck and they whisked us all off the field before the arrival of the players. To top it off, neither of our boys were awarded top honors- no matter how low cut my friend’s shirt was.
Jun 2010
THE “SWIRL” IS ON
Some people just have the knack of coining
phrases. One friend, in particular, seems to get these lightning bolts of creativity often. In this modern age of social networking, people tend to coordinate plans through email, text or facebook. This mass email method is effective in that many people can be contacted about dates and details at once. Usually, the hardest part of coordinating a dinner or social gathering is finding a date that works. Introducing the phrase… THE SWIRL IS ON. When we discuss making plans or initiating a lunch or dinner via email, the RE line reads.. everyone respond to the SWIRL. It really has helped the “group” speed up the response time to making a plan. Additionally, just the colorful vision that comes to mind with the word SWIRL, makes the invitees smile as it promises good times and laughter. So, as summer approaches, be sure to SWIRL lots of meals, parties, and BBQ’S with your peeps.
May 2010
LOOKING HOT
Looking hot and feeling good. It was last Thursday night and we were having a birthday celebration for yet another Taurus in my life. We decided to gather at The Soho House (again). It is a coincidence that many of my friends and family are born in the April-May time frame. With Spring and Summer just around the corner, going out with the girls increases dramatically. I told husband that I was going out for the second night that week and he said fine. As I teetered out of my closet on my four inch gold heels (new purchase, but ssh! if he inquires) I proudly posed in front of my husband. Instead of getting an admiring gaze, a cat call or an invitation for a quickie, I got blasted for going out again with my friends. Slowly, I began to sink into my heels then I bolted upright and said “F… off, nice of you to do this to me as I am going out. My night will not be destroyed, instead I will put more gloss on the lips, search for my chapter two in the crowds, and make the most out of my night. AND If you wake up next to the boys, get jealous because I GOT LUCKY! ” Out the door I fled into my bestie’s new gas guzzler. Two cocktails later (I was not driving) I was feeling good. And then my phone started vibrating… Husband decided to torture me via text. “You are 38, pale, emit noxious fumes at night, there will not be one guy that will be interested in you who is as handsome, as well hung, and who is equipped with the magic finger. Be sure to regale me with the comedy of the rejections and by the way, do not come home.” At that point, I knew he had gotten over his anger and was missing me. The next text I got was lovely, inviting me on a date and expressing his love and desire to spend more time with me. How sweet, I responded, Friday night, me and you babe SOLO! Little did I know, he then sent the entire text correspondence to a select ten people as a suggestion on how to make your wife happy. Naturally, I am thrilled that husband still wants to be with me. (got to keep them on their toes!)
Apr 2010
BOOK CLUB
Yep, I am a proud member of a Book Club and, as a result, I actually read less than ever before. Instead of deleting items on my kindle, I am adding books to the point where I fear my machine will overload. As I sit here typing this post, I am getting panicked because Book Club is Wednesday night of this week and I can’t even remember the name of the book. No worries girls, I will read the book and I will be more than happy to bring a dessert! I adore the social aspect of the club and I love knowing that I belong to a book club. However, as the months go by, I am realizing that the actual conversations about the material is getting shorter while the gossip and wine consumption is getting larger. Fine by me ! In fact, I assume my club realized this very stance when I proposed a modern idea for our Book Club today. In addition to books, we could also add new topics of discussion to our CLUB. The members would remain the same but we could broaden our horizons by going on field trips to movies, ethnic restaurants, dance clubs, foot massage places, strip clubs as well as having nights devoted to discussions on - travel, wine, cooking, sex, beauty tips, fashion tips, magazine articles, favorite websites.. the list goes on. I adore having a monthly date with my club friends but I do feel we could broaden our scope and mix it up. And yes of course, we could still pick a book to read as a group. As, my dear friend joked, leave it to me to propose a book club with no books. We could rename our club- The Lifestyle Club. In any event, I am not a member of “The Bad Girls Book Club” where half the group does not read the book and the other half doesn’t even show up. We have been avid readers who are able to moderate our own provacative discussions on the chosen books. Hence, why I think we should build on the great club foundation we already have. See you Wednesday!
Apr 2010
SPRING BREAK 2010 – MILF MOMMY STYLE
Tis the night before the spring break trip, (moms and kids only), and all through the house, husbands were dreaming, bye bye to the spouse… Little did he know, we would be humming WHERE THE BOYS ARE… as our mini-van soars down the highway. Bikini- check, spray tan- check, freshy manicured toes in a springy color-check, kids and I pod touches and the kids camp receipts- check. We are ready to go, suitcases by the door. Our departure time will be at 7 am sharp, Starbucks to pick up, and a pit stop at the Cabazon outlets to make. After buying the kids water toys at the outlet toy store, we will scoot through Bottega. Shortly after, we will then reload into the car, our destination a mere thirty minutes away. The kids will squeal with glee as visions of the waterslides will come into view. Is that a mirage? I think not! The sunblock will be applied, the kids will jump into the pool, and the hot milfs will settle into an afternoon of crisp Sauvignon Blanc and piles of trashy magazines.
Jan 2010
THE “SINGLES” DINNER PARTY
I am happily and BLISSFULLY married for nearly ten years! Though I adore my husband, it is fun to listen to my single friends navigate the dating world. It was challenging back then to find Mr. Right and I can only assume it is as difficult if not more, especially now that kids are included in the “package.” Blind dates always seemed to be the best way to meet someone unless you were lucky enough to sit next to a babe on the airplane and you managed to wear cute jeans instead of leggings aka clam diggers. But for the rest of us who had to suffer through countless, never ending, painful dates, it seemed hopeless. Dating websites, coffee speed dates, and other round robins lacked promise. I recently had dinner with a few adorable single girls and listened to them complain about how hard it is to meet “good” available guys. I suddenly remembered an idea that had been pitched to me years ago. It was thought provoking then and as interesting now. HINT HINT to all singles out there… The scenario goes like this: Pick a restaurant with good energy that can accomodate a lot of people, not a trendy spot that will come and go, but somewhere where the cocktails are good, the food is comforting; a place that people will want to linger and won’t feel the pressure to eat fast and turn the tables. Select a few single friends of both sexes that socialize in DIFFERENT circles. Each person must invite a single person of the opposite sex that you think someone in the group could be attracted to. The invited guests are now part of the host “committee” and the next month they are responsible for inviting new single guests. Each month the singles dinner club will meet and expand and eventually(hopefully) couples will begin to form. No longer a part of the singles dinner club, they will be sent on their merry way with contact information for a couples’ therapist– kidding!
round robin bring somebody knew that ppl dont know
Jan 2010
COUGAR CRUISE SINKS- SORT OF…
Carnival Cruises Bans Cougars And Cubs!
“Although 300 cougars and cubs sailed on the Carnival Elation in December, it’s not gonna happen again!
When SinglesTravelCompany.com, a singles group that promotes social events for the older woman/younger man fandom, tried to book another voyage, Carnival denied their reservations.
They’re a family cruise line, so what’s wrong with bringing together mothers and boys young enough to be their sons?
“We have decided not to have any future groups on our ships booked on this theme,” said Carnival spokeswoman Jennifer de la Cruz. “There were not any particular issues on board. However, we simply made the business decision not to have future groups book on this theme.”
That’s too bad because they are missing out on some mayjah $$$$$$!
Enjoy the clean-up, Royal Carribean!”
Jan 2010
LOVE HER!
There is NOTHING better than when a friend does something so out of the ordinary, almost unexpected, that makes you smile. Only certain people can get away with “chicken of the sea” comments and still be adored and cherished. I have a friend who was born with the best of attributes- beauty, sweetness, joie de vivre, and a wacky endearing sense of humor. (girl crush? HA HA) She is the girl who wears fake eyelashes not just to an evening soiree but to a movie. In fact, one of my New Year’s resolutions was to learn how to put on fake eyelashes with similar speed and ease.
As discussed, a group of us spent the holiday in Mexico. At night, we dolled up for dinners and parties. If toiletries were forgotten or seized by Airport security handlers, we could make quick jaunts to the local Wal-Mart. BUT, it was the errand my friend ran at the local drug mart which brought me to hysterics. She dragged her husband to purchase non-flourescent lightbulbs to REPLACE the existing bulbs in the hotel room. No wonder why she looked more dazzling than the rest of us. I just LOVE her!
Dec 2009
BRING THE NOTEPAD, WE CAN’T MISS A THING
Tis the season of many wonderful holiday dinners and parties! Catching up and sharing a warm moment with friends is one of my favorite gifts in life. Whether it is celebrating a birthday, grabbing a catch-up cup of coffee, planning a baby shower, or just going out for a much needed girls’ night, there is always so many topics to cover. I have learned that many times the excitement of being together coupled with the multiple glasses of wine leads to many unfinished conversations and thoughts. Whether it is an interruption by the waiter, a moment of ADD, or somebody asking an unrelated question which leads into another conversation, the once important topic at hand is long forgotten. What to do in this situation? Last night, in particular, five of my friends were out celebrating a birthday (not mine, don’t worry!) We were talking a mile a minute and simply could not keep up with all of the topics that we wanted to dissect. The solution hit me like a bolt of lightning. Similar to choosing the sober driver and packing the necessary lipgloss, credit card and cell phone in the ever chic clutch– somebody must remember to bring a notepad and a pen to jot down those interrupted conversations, questions and other topics that need to be covered. (And for the person who is entirely electronic, the i phone has a wonderful notes application to type in those very same thoughts.) In hindsight, I wish I had thought of this idea in my teen years! Who knows? Perhaps my first love affair with Edward ( oops I mean Enrique) could have become the next franchise. A casual social group diary which documented our trials and tribulations over the years would have at the very least kept me and my future dentures giggling. Look at all of the topics over the years that we friends could have documented albeit the first period, the first kisses, the first marriage, the divorces, the second marriage, the miscarriages, the girls trips….. the list is endless. It is never too late to start now. Beware friends, my clutch is about to become heavier.
Oct 2009
FRIENDS — THEY NEVER LET YOU DOWN
I must admit, I feel like I am sucking on lemons today instead of enjoying a crisp, refreshing tall glass of lemonade. It started this weekend when my nose started to run and the headache from Wednesday had yet to cease. I sequestered myself all weekend which was easy considering my husband was out of town and both kids were at sleepovers. I was lonely but I settled in for a night of my saved tevo shows. The shivering continued. Sunday night was brutal. I actually woke my husband in the night for some support and he grunted and rolled over. I somehow got through the night and woke up and popped Advil. However, 4 pm brought around a worse bout and I am now home in bed under the covers (fever ridden.) I nicely called my husband and asked him to bring me a thermometer and thera flu. Yeah right, he laughed- should have had that stuff in the house! Luckily, my dear friend called in just as she was driving past Long’s Drugs and picked up my necessary remedies. Friends! They just never let you down! And for my husband, he better hope that I don’t have the dreaded swine flu!
