Aug 2010
THINGS THAT MAKE YOU GO HMMM
Back from a fantastic vacation and now in full Fall mode. Hawaii was a blast and we were able to do activities because the kids were of age and size. Still, the highlights of any day, whether at home or on holiday, are the crazy and innocent antics of the kids.
Cases in point:
Number one! 5 year old renames his private parts everyday, the most recent nicknames being love nuts, satellite, and winky! Creative mind! God he kills us!
Number two! 7 year old has recently decided that his forever nickname of boobs which hails from Yogi and Boo Boo is “humiliating”. Come to think of it, everything has become humiliating to him. Guess we are getting our money’s worth in education as demonstrated in his ever-expanding vocabulary.
Number three! On the hotel water slide, a darling girl asked 5 year old to give her a push to launch. No way, he shook his head. I thought he was being shy, but later learned, he was abiding by the primary nursery school rule of no pushing. Proud of him, but need to teach him the difference when it comes to chivalry and flirting. I sense lady killer in his future!
Number four! Today at Third Street Promenade in Santa Monica, we digested lunch by watching the street performers. One man was super talented and was collecting tips in a trash bin. Husband gave the kids a few bucks for tip. Scene stealer… Audience chuckled as 5 year old followed directions flawlessly and put the money in the real trash can not the tip bin.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Aug 2010
A GOOD START
And so the trip continues… After an incredible time jet skiing, the group frolicked in the ocean, collecting coral and rocks, and killing time before the lunch ressy. As I was packing up the beach bag, I heard wild screams. My seven year old was running towards me, grabbing the top of his head. I pulled him into my arms to survey the injury. As a huge bump began to form on his head, he tried to explain that the ocean had thrown a rock at his head. More focused on the speed at which his bump was growing, I didn’t try to understand what he meant about the ocean being the villain. Behind me, I felt a slight tug on my shirt. It was five year old with tears streaming down his delicious cheeks. He confessed that he had accidentally thrown the rock which hit his brother’s head. I could not believe my ears. Five year old could have gotten away with all of us thinking the ocean had tossed the rock. Instead, he knew the importance of being honest and truly felt sorry for his brother’s swollen head. Ladies and potential employers, this kid is off to a good and honest start in life. Husband and I were so incredibly proud of five year old
( and our impressive parenting skills). The next thing we needed to conquer was seven year old’s new found obsession with vanity. I can’t imagine where he developed such an awareness of the aesthetic! He had moved past the pain and was more concerned with people teasing him and calling him “egg head”. Come to think of it, the other day he wanted to accompany daddy to the hotel gym. AND, we caught him admiring his tan lines (despite the hourly bath he is taking in sunblock). Our boy is growing up. On every past trip, seven year old would cuddle with me on the lounge chair as he dried off from the swim. This trip, he refused the mommy cuddle, claiming it would be humiliating. I miss the baby stage! This parenting journey is going too fast!
Aug 2010
ALOHA
As summer winds down, we take our annual trip to Hawaii. It is a trip that the kids start packing for in July. Today, as I type this post, we are halfway through the trip and I have taken notes on some anecdotes worth sharing over the next few days.
The first few days of any vacation can start rocky as the children need to get over the time difference and Husband must shed his work armor and climb into vacation mode. I always seem to forget this, shame on me!
Night one– dressed in our vacation best of Lily Pulitzer meets Tommy Bahama, the family starts walking to the shuttle to meet our friends and relatives for dinner off site. Visions of Mahi Mahi, Mai Tais and sunsets danced in our heads. Our younger Son awoke cranky from a much needed nap, and his mood went from bad to worse (actually inconsolable). We assumed that he would get happy once he saw his cousins. Not so! As we hit the lobby, 5 year old hit an all time low and Husband and I quickly recognized that one of us would be sipping a pina colada in our hotel room. As we attempted to lift our son’s arching body to carry him back to the room, he went ballistic. Not wanting to get on the shuttle or go back to the room, he hit the lobby floor on all fours, shrieking and kicking. ( Before I continue, I have to interject that this is abnormal behavior for our son). As each strategy to calm son failed miserably, he became more agitated. Suddenly, a golf cart pulled up with a security guard who had been called to assess the situation. Were we kidnappers in the middle of an abduction? I was horrified! As I assured the security guard that, in fact, we were the parents, husband arrived on the site with a snow cone. So much for no sweets before dinner, El Diablo instantly calmed down. Desperate measures! We grabbed son, jumped in a cab, and fled the scene. We arrived at the beach front restaurant just as the sun was setting. We smiled and began to relax from the disaster, eager to enjoy what remained of the evening. As Husband reached for the camera to take a shot of the family in the sunset, he accidentally knocked the snow cone out of my son’s hand. You can only imagine what happened next! Needless to say, I was rattled and in desperate need of a cocktail.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Aug 2010
MY SON’S FIRST (DATE)
Tonight was a milestone in the Lemonaid household. Husband scored two Lady Gaga tickets for me to invite anyone I wanted. The decision was easy. He is nearly 8 years old and has rockin dance moves. Most importantly, he is my son. Alerted only a few days earlier, my son had been bragging to his friends ever since. He had never been to a concert and I was thrilled to be his date. I could only hope that his Gaga concert date with Mom would be a fond memory like my first concert circa 1985 of Howard Jones. Sporting a new pair of black skinny jeans, he topped his look with a leather jacket, black loafers, and Kanye West sunglasses. Could you die? When he cruised down the stairs and said he was ready, my heart melted. My baby looked so handsome and grown up. I could see the years ahead on fast forward. At the concert, as good as Gaga was, I could not keep my eyes off of my little man as his little body grooved to the beat -while he covered his already ear-plugged ears. P.S. There were tons of kids at the Monster Ball tonight.
Aug 2010
SOCCER MAMAS
Big day at UCLA today! To the left were the coeds practicing cheers. To the right was the future of Soccer— our seven year old sons sweating their skull caps off in a week long Soccer camp hosted by UCLA. As I walked towards the field to attend the end of the session casual awards ceremony for camp participation, I was questioned by an imposing security guard. At that moment, a swarm of paparazzi appeared! Nearly trampled, I remarked to my friend that this camp sure knows how to make a kid feel good! And then lightning struck as we discovered that the crowds were not for our talented kids, but for the arrival of the Real Madrid team due to play a match on that same field. Sitting on the bleachers, the Soccer Mamas cheered for our children as they got their awards. I craned my head to check for the arrival of the Soccer god, Cristiano Ronaldo. My fellow hot mama and I were teasing each other and begging the security guards to send the soccer babes over to get some inspiration before the big match. No such luck and they whisked us all off the field before the arrival of the players. To top it off, neither of our boys were awarded top honors- no matter how low cut my friend’s shirt was.
Jul 2010
THE HAIR CHANNEL
Experiencing life through a child’s eye is so refreshing and amusing. Recently, my friend shared a story about her daughter that had me roaring with laughter. In order to fully grasp the humor in this story, it is important to know that my friend’s daughter “Pinky” (a fictitious name) is a sassy and precocious five year old. She loves the color pink, wearing skirts, and has been known to stuff her shirt after spending a day at the beach with the mommy posse. If I had a daughter, I am sure a version of pinky would have popped out. Once during a family vacation, Pinky’s mom was scrolling through the Pay Per View channels. Three images popped onto the screen advertising kids movies, current Hollywood Hits, and adult entertainment. The advertisement for the Porn channel was a sexy blonde girl with bodacious ta ta’s and wild blonde hair. Pinky started begging to watch what she thought was the hair channel but really was the adult entertainment channel. Fast forward one month, Pinky’s dad styled her hair one morning for school as mommy was at the gym. Upon arriving at school, Pinky’s teacher complimented the new hair-do. Pinky proudly told the teacher that her Daddy did the morning hairstyle and learned how from watching the “Hair” channel! Love her!!!!!!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Jun 2010
LOVE BURST
In our family, whenever we feel overwhelmed by the emotion of love, we call it a LOVE BURST. Whether it be a moment on a date night, a moment watching the kids graduate, or a snuggie in the morning, love bursts occur frequently in the Lemonaid household. Today was an uncomfortable morning. Our oldest
son, who seems to have gotten the short end of the stick in the teeth and oral health department, was scheduled for yet another oral procedure. This was one was more concerning for us as it required putting our son under general. We dressed him in his winter pj’s with footsies and left for the oral surgeon’s office first thing this morning. Husband and I were wound tight and feeling pretty scared. The sweet nurse whisked our son away, assuring him that they were only going to be looking at his teeth. We all knew otherwise but for a brief moment, he calmed down. Just as they were putting him out, the nurse came out to the waiting room to share a funny story with us. We definitely felt more at ease when she explained that he was complaining about the smell as they drugged him to sleep. When the Doctor asked him what the worst smell he had ever experienced, he giggled and exclaimed his brother’s underwear. We began to relax and when we were called back after the procedure and saw him lying curled up in a blanket, we swept him up into our arms so he could wake up in a love burst. Now we are at home and he is convincing me that coke is just what the Doctor ordered. How can I say no when his swollen lips look as if he fell onto a syringe of juvederm gone bad?
Jun 2010
PROUD OF YOU!
Dear Husband,
I wanted to let you know how proud I am of you. Coaching flag football is no easy feat especially when you have the youngest and shortest team in the league. Unlike soccer and basketball, football requires an understanding of the plays and an ability to execute. You worked hard and with passion. At times it was tough, but the pride you felt for your team was evident. Each player improved throughout the season (so clearly my picks at the draft were strong.) Your passion for your children is transparent in everything you do. Our son was beyond proud that you were the coach. Win or lose, the Jets played strong. You are an amazing leader and father. I see college coaching in your future!
May 2010
SUNDAY MORNING SNUGGIES, HUGGIES, AND STUBBLE BURN
Sunday mornings in our household begin with what our five year old has coined “snuggies” and “huggies.” Imagine the little boys waking up, still warm from their sleep, climbing into bed with us. These moments are truly the happiest and most treasured. The family session goes a little like this. 5 year old comes to mommy at snuggie and then we flip and 7 year old comes to mommy at huggie. Daddy gets the reverse. Nothing makes me smile more than the thought of the four of us sandwiched into bed, with not a care in the world and nowhere to go. After the “snuggie” switch, the boys started screaming that they wanted to cuddle while mommy and daddy spoon. So sweet right? I rolled over, cuddled up next to husband (rancid morning breath and all) and yelled EW and OUCH! I threw off the covers and started hysterically laughing. Husband had decided to shave off every hair on his body (why? I have no idea, he is NOT a swimmer.) Now I realize that I was incorrect as to why he took forever in the shower last night. The smoothness did not last for more than a few hours as his hair pattern tends to grow rapidly. Gorillas rule in our household (except for the back!)
May 2010
BEWARE OF PEEPING TOMS IN YOUR OWN HOME
This is a tale that happened to one of my comrades a few weeks back. It is an important reminder that sometimes we get so caught up in the minutia of our day, we neglect those things that matter the most.
One evening, my friend, who was in a great mood after a few cocktails at dinner with the gals, came bouncing in the house to give her husband an enthusiastic hello. There he sat, arms crossed, eyes focused on the tv. ”What did you do today,” he curtly asked her. She proceeded to recount the details of her day (still giddy from a couple glasses of rose’)…..dropped the kids of at school, business breakfast, errands etc. His response was,” That takes you up until about 1pm, what else?” “Hmm,” she replied. “Well…..maybe I did a little shopping on Montana and met a friend for coffee.” “Now you’re talkin,” he said. Turns out the security cameras in their house had frozen that day and, while fixing them, he decided to watch the household comings and goings from morning till night. He informed his wife, (who at that point he was calling MOTY….mother of the year), that she neglected to mention the Intermix bags she strolled in with, didn’t pick up the kids from school, and spent a total of 45 seconds “glancing” at her son’s homework while “yakking” on the phone. He tallyed up the total amount of quality time she had spent with her children that day, and it wasn’t a pretty picture. She took his statistics in stride, and promised that the next day would be better. And it was!
What we need to gleen from this, is that our time with our precious children is fleeting. Before we know it, they will be out of the house and people we see on holidays and special occasions. They will have their own lives, and have less and less time for us. Nothing is more important that these moments we have with our family, no matter how mundane homework and carpool can be. This is what we (and they) will remember, not the shopping, charity lunches and unnecessary errands.
